i never thought i’d write the words “deeply evil carpet” but. seriously. what a deeply evil carpet that is.
And what you should do is to put this over an actual trap, like a hole in the floor so people will be like “Oh ha ha ha that’s soooo funny, it’s a rug!” And then fall through it.
are you satan
Protect thou the orphan whose father is dead; brush the mud from his dress, ward all hurt from his head. Thou knowest not how hard his condition must be; when the root has been cut, is there life in the tree? Caress not and kiss not a child of thine own, in the sight of the orphan neglected and alone. If the orphan sheds tears who his grief will assuage? If his temper should fail him who cares for his rage? O see that he weep not, for surely God’s throne doth quake at the orphan’s most pitiful moan! With infinite pity, with tenderest care, wiper the tears from his eyes, brush the dust from his hair. No shield of parental protection his head now shelters; be thou his protector instead. - Saadi